When Fics Go Bad
by Rozbabe and Mad Cow
Summary: While writing a story, what can go wrong? A lot. Oh yeah, a lot.


Authors Notes: This was written by Mad Cow and me, Rozbabe. This is not to be taken seriously. We were just having fun. (Although, Maddy *evil grin* does think that Tyler is a prep.) If you all like this, we will write more. This was really fun. :) Feedback PLEASE!!!! 

_ Val sat a Tyler's grave, sniffling quietly as the soft rain poured down her back._   
"Why do I always die??" Tyler demanded, looking at the computer screen over Mad Cow's shoulder.   
"Because you stand for everything Maddy hates," Rozbabe, who was reclining in a chair across from the computer, eating popcorn and watching Disney. "Popular people football players, big heads, narcissists, people who are full of themselves..."   
Tyler looked hurt.   
"Hey, but you are hot, I'll give you that," Spoke up Mad Cow, was still typing away, having never taken her eyes off the screen, even when she was speaking. "And Roz, I saw what you called me in the author's notes. Don't call me 'Maddy' again, or else I'll have to call you 'Rozzy'."   
Rozbabe eeped, and grew quiet.   
"When are you gonna come and help me with the story we're cowriting?" Mad Cow asked.   
"At 7 AM, when Bear in the Blue House comes on. Until then, they're having a Boy Meets World marathon," Answered Rozbabe. "Shawn and Eric are *total* hotties."   
"And I'm not?" Asked Tyler. Both of the authors ignored him, but Val came over and rubbed him on the back.   
"You're very nice looking," She cooed, batting her eyes. Tyler turned back to look at her, and gazed into her eyes.   
"What if I want to watch Whose Line?" Mad Cow asked, ignoring the disgusting love scene going on.   
"Like you could tear yourself away from the computer!" Muttered Rozbabe.   
"There's a Canadian in it..." Tempted the computer bound girl.   
Rozbabe's eyes lit up. "Ooh!" She squealed. Then her eyes took on an angry glare. "Wait, Colin Mocherie is old and bald!"   
"_Partially_ bald," Corrected Mad Cow. "And I thought you liked all Canadians."   
"Only ones who aren't five times my age," Huffed Rozbabe.   
"Hey, Sor-_ry_. " Mad Cow replied, sounding annoyed.   
"Now, can we do something to.._.them_?" Rozbabe asked, looking at Val and Tyler who were STILL making goo goo eyes at each other.   
"Please. I beg you to do something. " Mad Cow answered.   
"Mhwhehehe!!" Rozbabe laughed evily. "Take this."   
Rozbabe snapped her fingers, and Brooke showed up.   
"Wha..,"Brooke asked, looking confused.   
Rozbabe snapped her fingers again and Tyler got up from where he was sitting, walked over to Brooke, and kissed her. And kissed her. And kissed her. Rozbabe and Mad Cow both laughed evily.   
"Take THAT, Super Val!" Mad Cow said, though her laughter.   
"AGHHHHH! You can't do that! Tyler is MY boyfriend." Val pouted.   
"He's mine now, _sis_," Spat Brooke, who then went back to making out with Tyler.   
Rozbabe and Mad Cow, sat there with looks of content on their faces (Well, at least, Mad Cow would if she looked away from the computer), but something felt wrong.   
"Something feels wrong," Piped up Rozbabe.   
"Yup. I feel it too. I've got writers block," Mad Cow said. She pushed her cow spotted cowboy hat away from her eyes and spun around in her chair to face Rozbabe.   
"Not that," Answered Rozbabe. "I feel like we haven't done enough torturing. Sure, Val's upset, but what about our favorite big, dumb, football playing lug?"   
Mad Cow growled. "Don't talk about Hank that way!"   
Hank appeared. "Did you call, Mad Cow?" He asked. "Do you need a back rub? Do you need me to finish your homework? How about some nice chocolate?"   
Rozbabe's mouth flew open. "How's you get him to do that?" She asked in amazement.   
Mad Cow waved her had nonchalantly at Hank. "I don't need anything now. I'll call you when I'm working on Spotless or Roses on the Grass."   
Hank disappeared. Mad Cow smiled. "Since I'm the only one who writes stories starring him, whenever I say his name he comes running. Poor boy just wants to feel needed."   
"Coooool. Anyway, I wasn't referring to him, I was referring to the other big, dumb, football playing lug," Rozbabe said, jerking her thumb at Tyler. "Sure, he's not with Val, but he looks like he's enjoying himself."   
Val huffed from the corner.   
"Ok...well. Um. OHH! How 'bout we just kill 'em both?" Rozbabe asked, hopefully.   
"Nah..not yet. This story needs to be longer, and have SOME sort of plot" Mad Cow told Rozbabe.   
"Well, pfff." Rozbabe said. "I've got Writers Block now, so what do you think we should do?"   
"OHHH!" Mad Cow jumped up. "I've got an idea! What if we kick Val off of Cheer leading, and Tyler off of Football, and kick them both off the Honors List!"   
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Both Val and Tyler yelled. Rozbabe snapped Brooke out of the story.   
"That was just starting to look wrong." Rozbabe commented.   
"First you take away football, now my Brookie!! No!!" Tyler said, looking close to tears.   
"Oh, SHUT UP!" Both writers yell at Tyler.   
"He's really annoying, you know that?" Mad Cow said.   
"Yes, I do" Rozbabe answered. "I really want to kill him."   
Mad Cow sighed. "Go ahead."   
"Yea!!" Rozbabe squealed. She snapped her fingers, and *POOF* Tyler was lying on the ground, dead. .   
"NO! Not my Tyler-whiler! You are EVIL girls!" Val whined.   
Rozbabe and Mad Cow looked at each other. "We know," they said in unison, and grinned.   
"Now what should happen?" Roz asked Mad Cow.   
Mad Cow shrugged. "Beats me. I think our work is done." She sniffed the air. "I think there's a mall nearby, wanna go?"   
"Sure!" Said Roz, and the pair went off to the mall.   
While poking around in Hot Topic, Rozbabe looked at Mad Cow. "You know..." She began. "Something feels wrong."   
"What?" Mad Cow asked.   
"I don't know, it just feels like we left something unfinished..." Rozbabe began.   
The girls looked at each other. "VAL!" The yelled together, dropped their purchases, and left the mall.   
When they returned to their room of writing, they found Val there, clutching a knife in her hand.   
Suddenly, Mad Cow felt a hand close over her mouth. Rozbabe looked at who it was, and screamed. Tyler!   
"Make sure someone's leave before you dead them!" Tyler said. Then he shook his head. "I mean, make sure someone's dead before you kill them! Wait, that's not right. I'm confusing myself." He let go of Mad Cow.   
"You let go!" Shrieked Val.   
"Oh, right," Said Tyler, and put his hand back over Mad Cow's mouth.   
Val shot a look at Tyler. "What are you supposed to say now?" Val asked.   
"I forgot," Tyler whimpered.   
"Remembered what we rehearsed?" Val asked.   
Tyler cleared his throat. "Luke, I am your father," He said.   
Val hit him in the back of the head. He stumbled, and let go of Mad Cow.   
"Eww," Roz said to Mad Cow. "He touched your head. Now you're gonna have to wash your hair with extra strong shampoo."   
Tyler made a grab for Mad Cow. "HANK!!" Mad Cow yelled.   
Hank appeared, but by then Tyler had his hand over her mouth. "Yes?" Hank asked.   
Val grinned. "Mad Cow wants you to play hide and seek with her. She's gonna count to 100, and then she'll find you."   
Tyler looked at Val. "That's not tru-" But he stopped when Val shot him a dagger look.   
"Yeah," Piped up Rozbabe. "It's not tr-uump!" She said as Val elbowed her.   
Hank looked at the four. "Something smells fishy here."   
Tyler shook his head. "No, we're cooking catfish in the other room."   
"Oh. OK," Hank said. He looked at Val. "I'll see _you_ when we work on Roses in the Grass, honey-bunny." Then he disappeared.   
Val made a face. "Gross." Then she sniffed the air. "But it does smell fishy in here."   
"That's cause I _am_ cooking catfish!" Tyler said smugly.   
"I knew he was too dumb to think up that on his own," mumbled Rozbabe.   
Suddenly, the fire alarm went off. "My catfish is on fire!" Yelled Tyler, and he and Val ran into the kitchen as it burst into flames.   
"Well," Rozbabe said, "Looks like they killed themselves."   
"Good Boy..and girl." Mad Cow said smiling. "Now what?"   
Roz smiled. "Can I bring in Jamie? PLEASE!! I want to play.."   
Mad Cow rolled her eyes. "Sure. Why not."   
"Yey!!" Rozbabe snapped her fingers, and Jamie Waite appeared in front of her, wearing a wife beater and a pair of pants.   
"What am I doing here?" Jamie asked. He looked at the two smiling girls in front of him. "Oh no. Not you two again."   
Both girls giggled. "This is going to be fun!" Mad Cow said.   
"HEY! Why did you just leave us to get the burning catfish by ourselves? Huh? You evil writers." Tyler and Val said in unison.   
"Oh, my God! You two do NOT die, do you?" Mad Cow asked, very annoyed.   
"Nope." Val said with an evil glint in her eye.   
"Hey, should I go?" Jamie asked.   
"NO!" Both of the writers yelled.   
"Hey, I've got an idea!" Rozbabe said. She whispered something in her ear. Mad looked excited.   
"Can you do that?" She asked amazed.   
"Yep" Roz answered.   
"Get to it, then!" Mad responded.   
Rozbabe snapped her fingers, and Drucilla from Buffy The Vampire Slayer showed up.   
"Oh. Look at all the pretty people, all in a row." Dru said dreamily.   
"Hey Dru," Mad Cow said, "You see those two people over there? Kill them. OK?"   
"OHH! What fun this will be!" Dru slowly walked over to Val and Tyler, and well, killed them. But, Dru made one mistake. She turned THEM in to vamps too.   
"I get to be a Mummy again!" Dru said, with a big smile on her face.   
"Oh, boy. THIS will be fun." Rozbabe and Mad Cow both said.   
"Y'Know," Said Mad Cow thoughtfully. "Is it really safe to have a vampire around?"   
Rozbabe shook her head. "No, not really."   
"That's what I thought."   
Rozbabe snapped her fingers, and Dru disappeared.   
Unfortunately, Tyler and Val were still hanging around.   
"Why do I feel a craving for blood?" Tyler asked.   
"Because...uh..." Mad Cow began.   
"That's your bat call!" Yelled Rozbabe.   
"What?" Asked Val, Tyler, and Mad Cow in unison.   
"Your bat call! See, when she bit you, she changed you. Now you don't need a pager. Instead, whenever there's an accident, you'll get a craving for blood."   
Mad Cow raised an eyebrow, but Tyler just yelled "Cool!!" And ran out of the room. Well, tried, anyway. On the way out, he ran into the door frame. "Who put that there?" He asked, and ran out the door. Val followed.   
Mad Cow brushed off her hands. "That was a productive day."   
Rozbabe nodded. "Very. Scary at times, but productive. Now what do we do?"   
Both authors turned their eyes to Jamie. His screams could be heard outside the building.   



End file.
